No Job Joy #57 The fantasy of job descriptions or why all resumes are works of fiction

Those of us in Texas, few will forget Lena Guerrero who lied on her resume saying she was a University of Texas Grad.  Whoops.  The sad thing is when someone lies on their resume they can be blackballed, fired or even prosecuted. Yet when the employers write job descriptions often they are as much fantasy as Harry Potter or StarWars.

Some times the fiction is intentional.  By over stating requirements companies hope to reduce the number of applicants to a manageable level.  For others it is about trying to get Jesus to come work at their company because not only must the candidate walk on water they must make coffee. Finally there are those requirements that are listed just to take up space.

Some of my favorites include:

"10 plus years working with social media" - Unless you were a founder of MySpace or Facebook no one meets that requirement.

"Must have a history of exceeding quota". - Okay, unless its an entry level position isn't this one assumed? The problem is that really good sales people have found a comfortable home and have no intention of leaving unless the comp plan changes.

"Excellent PC Skills" -  Hey, I sent you my resume on a computer doesn't that count? Besides, unless you are applying for Executive Assistant job, who is going to ask? 

"Integrity and Professionalism". -  Since there is no such thing as a perfect match isn't every job candidate lying when they say they meet every requirement for the job? 

"Ability to multi-task" - Means we can overwork you and you know you can't say anything or we will give you more work

"Exceptional communication skills".-  Note to men, never list you your wife as a reference.

"Self Motivated and Proactive" - What? You mean I can't just show up and collect a check?

Just like writing a good resume,  writing a good job description is more of an art than a science.Today's no job joy is for the creativity required to hire and get hired.