This week end our 91 year old neighbor was in the alley with her walker sweeping the leaves from three oak trees off her driveway. Seeing that she had a huge chore in front of her, my wife, brother in-law and youngest son went out and helped her bag up the leaves.
Then my son who couldn't be stopped, started raking the yard, even though they have a lawn service. All told we bagged up 8 very large bags of leaves. My neighbor an her husband we very grateful and that was all the thanks we needed. We know they wanted to pay us but since they weren't expecting us they didn't have any money out so we quickly said you are welcome and left before they could go get any.
Today as I was in the alley, she found me and tried to pay me again. I politely said thank you but no several times. From there our verbal struggle of wills became physical as she stuffed the bills in my pocket. Now I knew I was in trouble. I tried to hand her the money back but she wouldn't take it. You would be surprised how strong a 91 year old can be.
As we were in the alley and she had a walker so I knew this wouldn't end well. If I try to out run her I look like I am running from a little old lady. If I stand and fight I risk getting beat up by an old lady. A no win situation. So I took the money on the understanding that it would go into my son's camping gear fund. A compromise that lets her feel good about paying us for our good deed and I still get to feel good about doing it.
I think she really wants a throw down with me as she wants me to take a look at fixing some cracking cinder blocks in her alley as she noticed I was going to fix some of mine. I don't know how I will get out of this one.
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This made me laugh out loud! Reminds me of my great grandma "Mama Cole". In the South, the oldest living lady in the family is considered a bit of a patriarch; serviced with adoration and reverence. Mama Cole was one of the sweetest ladies my eyes have ever met; but one of the most "politely stubborn" people that I have ever known. A few years ago before her passing, we were on our annual trip to see our kinfolk in Jaskson, Mississippi. Mama Cole, like most loving grandparents wouldnt let you come or go without getting something to eat. No matter how hard one resisted, she would always insist (and of course always win!) that she cook something for you. I can still hear her now; "come sit down baby - let me fix you something!" - and any effort to the contrary was futile. So there she would go, 90+ years old, clibming this little white step ladder to get some items out of her cabinets to whip something up. It is amazing to me still, what she was able to accomplish when she set her agile mind and feeble bones to something. I can only hope that I have inherited some of her polite stubbornness and determination!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your story Chris.
Gary Glass
One thing you might think about (from something my old friend Professor Gomes). Sometimes, when people want to give you money for a service you have rendered, it can be one of the few ways they can express their independence, that they have some kind of (for lack of a better term) power / ability still in their lives. The lesson Peter taught me was, after a couple of polite refusals, take the money, and put it towards something good. Good for you and your family!
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